Obligatory Canada Post

I've put this off long enough. So here's the summary of what was probably the BEST ROADTRIP EVER. Hopefully it will be a little more intelligible (haha) than my AIM profile is.

New York: We spent most of our time here going places we can't afford and not buying anything, e.g. Saks, Louis Vutton, Tiffany's, the Plaza. We also got "kicked out" of the Ritz-Carlton (or, rather, we tried to go up to one of the floors but found out you needed a room key, and the woman in the elevator said something like "You don't belong here") and spent too much time at the Times Square Toys-R-Us. Jessica and I also took pictures with the Naked Cowboy, but seeing as my camera broke, I'm not sure if they'll ever be developed. We also checked out Central Park (where an 8 year old boy attempted to steal my purse) and Washington Square. After a day of general good fun, we took the PATH back to Jersey (where we parked to specifically avoid driving in Manhattan) and attempted to find the cheesy motel we had decided to stay at in Elmsford, NY (wherever that is). Of course, evil Mapquest gave us the worst driving directions possible. They took us through the Lincoln Tunnel, up through Harlem a la the West Side Highway, through the Bronx, and finally to Elmsford. And they were also incomplete, of course. So we spent at least an hour lost in Manhattan, first because we couldn't turn left onto 42nd and ended up going through the Lincoln Tunnel three times. But the nice toll booth operator only made us pay once when we explained how lost we were. The second time we got lost was when 12th mysteriously split and somehow we ended up on Amsterdam Avenue in Harlem instead of on the highway. Ack! But we figured it out eventually and ended up at the cheesy motel around midnight or so. Once we got there, however, they decided to violate the ancient code of cheesy motels and ask for ID. Apparently you have to be 21 to get a hotel/motel room in the US. (Sure, you can vote and smoke and buy lots of porn, but god forbid you want to sleep somewhere.) So after trying several other cheesy motels, and briefly considering trying to drive up to Canada through the night, we found the oasis that is Best Western around 12:45 or 1. And they didn't ask for ID, which made us love them forever.

Drive to Montreal/Montreal: The drive there was largely uneventful. Jessica and Alfiya read Cosmo out loud, Ray bought a Jesus fish flashlight at a gas station, and we all ate at a "family restaurant" (where we were the only customers). Got across the border without any trouble, and ended up at the good old Comfort Inn. Jessica and I drove around to explore the area for awhile (we ended up finding a huge porn/sex toy shop) in the afternoon, and that night we bought alcohol and hung out in the room (because we COULD...except for me, technically). Ray had a bit too much, though, and kept saying he wanted to walk back to Baltimore. The next day, we headed towards downtown Montreal but got sidetracked by Casino Montreal, some park surrounding it, and LaRonde. The Casino and park were cool, even if the guards wouldn't let me into the actual casino, and LaRonde was a lot like Six Flags America, except in French. I even got in for free by impersonating my sister, who has a season pass. Ray eventually "won" some shooting game (you had to shoot the orange star out of the center of a paper, and Ray really almost got all of it, so the guy said "Hey, look, you won" and tore out the little piece of star that was left). He ended up winning a huge green bear for Alfiya named Green Wonton/Jacob/Ray Jr./Rasputin. After LaRonde, we went to downtown and ate at a really nice Italian restaurant. Ray ordered wine at dinner, and even though it was cheap, we each drank about a glass.

Quebec: Headed off to Quebec the next day. The drive itself was fine, even though maps lied to us again. Once we got to the city I had to drive the minivan through incredibly tiny streets in Old Quebec. We stayed at a Days Inn there, and it turned out that the only non-smoking room they had left was "Shrek"-themed. Which meant the four of us got a room with Shrek bedspreads, welcome mat, and shower curtain. You know you're jealous. As for the city, it's probably the prettiest place I've been in a long time. That night we walked around, ate at a fancy place and watched a trick bike tournament in some town square. I cheered for Ryan Smith, because his was the only name I recognized. When we got back to the room, Jessica wanted to try some shots from the bar. So she went down and had some 727s (amaretto, tia maria, and cream), and at one point these drunken 40-something American men came into the bar. We went to leave and one of them called after us, "Where are you going, ladies?" We waited awhile before going back down after that...creepy drunken old men. The next day we walked around a bit more. We saw several street performers, one an opera singer and the other a man painted completely gold who made robotic sounds when he moved.

Camping: That night, we camped at some random place north of the city Three Rivers. It actually turned out to be the best place ever. There was a dance that night where we got to do the French chicken dance, and we played night volleyball and got "woopy" from adrenaline. Lots of good fun. Ray made a big fire, we bonded, and we invented S'moreos (oreos with marshmallows). We all went to bed around 1, but Ray, Alfiya, and Jessica decided to visit the loud Canadians at the next campsite. I was too tired, but I heard lots of fun stories the next day, including that Jessica's pick up line of "chez toi o chez moi?" (your place or mine) actually worked.

The drive home: We left the campground around 11:40 AM. I got home around 3 AM. In between, I got my first speeding ticket ever in upstate New York (81 in a 65, oh yeah), we listened to the Spice Girls while waiting for a toll, Jessica gave Ray a makeover, and Alfiya and I had a lot of coffee. We also might have fibbed a little to the border guard when he asked if we had any alcohol (there was a wine cooler left...big deal). And we got stopped by some other random border guards who didn't know Belarus was a country sometime after I got my ticket.

So that's the trip, in a way too long blog entry. Just thought I'd let you all know how great Canada was. I'd definitely do it over again, speeding ticket and all.